Everything you need to know about the Oscars

If you were living under a rock or had something better to watch, the 90th annual Oscars were on last night. Lucky for you, I have a COMPLETE recap of last night festivities so you can properly join in on the water cooler talk.

Jimmy Kimmel hosted the coveted award show for his second time last night. During his opening monologue, he talked about the Times Up/Me Too movement, Trump and of course the fiasco that happened last year. WE’RE STILL NOT OVER IT WARREN BEATTY!

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Believe it or not, back at the very first Oscars, the show lasted only 18 minutes. Do you know how much time we’d save if the award show was 18 minutes!? So, naturally, Jimmy Kimmel said whoever had the shortest speech will win a brand new jet ski (Price is Right style). Side note, can we campaign for Helen Mirren to be the new Vanna White?

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The first award given out was “Best Supporting Actor”. Viola Davis showed up to present the award as vision in hot pink. (Loved it!) The nominees were, William DaFoe (The Florida Project), Woody Harrelson (Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri), Richard Jenkins (The Shape of Water), Christopher Plumber (All the Money in the World) and Sam Rockwell (Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri)  And the Oscar goes to… SAM ROCKWELL! Can we also take a second to say how cute Sam Rockwell and his girlfriend is?

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In honour of the 90th Oscars, the show put on a BEAUTIFUL montage to document movies over the years. How can you not get chills while watching this? I may or may not have ugly cried… If you haven’t seen it already, check out below:

After all the “boring/fast forward” awards, Mahershala Ali came on stage to present “Best Supporting Actress”. The nominees for this category were, Mary J. Blige (Mudbound), Allison Janney (I, Tonya), Lesley Manville (Phantom Thread), Laurie Metcalf (Lady Bird) and Octavia Spencer (The Shape of Water). And the Oscar goes to… ALLISON JANNEY! How can you not love Allison Janney?

Can we also talk about Kobe Bryant being nominated for “Best Animated Short Film”? I had absolutely NO IDEA! He won his category and Mark Hamill (who presented the award) had a major fan girl moment. It was adorable.

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Jimmy Kimmel came back out and mentioned there was a screening for “A Wrinkle in Time” across the street at the Chinese Theatre and he wanted to crash it with a few guests. Margot Robbie, Mark Hamill, Gal Gadot, Ansel Elgort, Lupita Nyong’o, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Emily Blunt, Armie Hammer and Guillermo del Toro went into the theatre to surprise fans! Imagine these people coming into the theatre while you are watching a movie? I’d pass out.

Now we finally move onto the big awards of the night, starting with “Best Director”. Can we mention Emma Stone in her pant suit and her SHADE towards the male dominated category? I needed a pair of sunglasses for the amount of shade.

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The nominees for “Best Director” were Christopher Nolan (Dunkirk), Jordan Peele (Get Out), Greta Gerwig (Lady Bird), Paul Thomas Anderson (Phantom Thread) and Guillermo del Toro (The Shape of Water). And the Oscar goes to… GUILLERMO DEL TORO!

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Jane Fonda and Helen Mirren went up on stage to present the award for “Best Actor”. They, naturally, had a standing ovation as soon as they came out. Can we please get a movie with those two? Also, if I do Jane Fondas workout videos, will I look as good as her when I’m her age? … I’m headed to Amazon.

The nominees for “Best Actor” were Daniel Day-Lewis (Phantom Thread), Daniel Kaluuya (Get Out), Gary Oldman (Darkest Hour), Timothée Chalamet (Call Me by Your Name) and Denzel Washington (Roman J. Israel, Esq.) And the Oscar goes to… GARY OLDMAN! The transformation from Gary Oldman to Winston Churchill was insane!

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Jennifer Lawrence (who looked amazing) and Jodie Foster came on stage to present the award for “Best Actress”. Jodie literally hopped on stage in her crutches and blamed Meryl Streep. I believe it.

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The nominees for “Best Actress” were Sally Hawkins (The Shape of Water), Frances McDormand (Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri), Margot Robbie (I, Tonya), Saoirse Ronan (Lady Bird) and Meryl Streep (The Post). And the Oscar goes to… FRANCES MCDORMAND! I just love how crazy and wonderful Frances McDormand is! I think she absolutely deserved this award for her performance, but most of the time, I want to see her win so I can hear her speeches.

AND FINALLY, the biggest award of the night, “Best Picture”. I was 110% rooting for Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri. If you haven’t seen it already WATCH IT! It is such a good film! Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway decided to give it another shot and I was nervous. If he got it wrong again, he either 1. never presents again or 2. has to present every. single. award. 

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The nominees for “Best Picture” were The Shape of Water, Phantom Thread, The Post, Darkest Hour, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, Call Me by Your Name, Dunkirk, Get Out and Lady Bird. And the Oscar goes to… THE SHAPE OF WATER! The movie about a woman loving a fish! Darryl over at BOOM was very excited.

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And now, you are officially caught up! You officially don’t have to feel awkward not knowing what everyone is talking about at the water cooler. Oh, by the way, Mark Bridges won the jet ski.

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