The series finale of Dog’s Most Wanted premiered on Wednesday night and tugged at the heartstrings of many, as the episode captured a grief-stricken Duane “Dog” Chapman just hours after the death of his wife, Beth Chapman.
Attempting to come to terms with the loss of his beloved partner, Dog, 66, spoke during taping about being alone and shared with the camera crew that he was experiencing suicidal thoughts, according to People.
“I hope that I don’t live very much longer without her because now she made the first step; she’s through the gate,” he said. “She paved a way for me. I want to take a god damn pain pill so bad.”
Dog continued: “I feel like if I did something to myself right now and passed away suicidal and I got to heaven and was like, ‘Hi, honey,’ would she go, ‘You dumba–, why would you do that?’ Or would she go, ‘Wow, you’re here?'”
“I’d be like ‘Of course, I’m here,” he continued. “‘You left me. I’m here.’ So, am I obligated to do that?”
Beth, who starred on a number of her husband’s reality TV shows, including Dog the Bounty Hunter, died on June 26 after a lengthy battle with cancer. She was 51.
Beth was diagnosed with Stage 2 throat cancer in September 2017.
In the Dog’s Most Wanted season finale, Dog said: “I’ve only been alone as I showered and I had to run out without a towel because I can’t be alone right now.
“That’s when I start thinking about things, and I lay down to take a nap and I reached over to touch something, and it was the freaking dog.”
“I don’t realize yet psychologically that she’s gone gone and I’ll never, ever see her. I don’t realize that,” he added.
Only three months after his wife’s death, Dog was hospitalized with heart issues.
After being released from the hospital, the TV star made an appearance on The Dr. Oz Show, where he learned he is suffering from a pulmonary embolism, meaning one or more of the arteries in his lungs has been blocked by blood.
“I’m looking at you and telling you this as a friend: you’re a ticking time bomb,” Dr. Mehmet Oz told the reality TV star.
“You’re not going to be here with the heart the way it is right now,” Oz said. “Fear of death is normal. I’m surprised you don’t fear death when you’re chasing after convicts. But when you run away from doctor, that means you have to do your own doctoring.
“If you don’t trust the doctoring that’s going on in your life, you think you’re doctoring yourself well enough by yourself,” he added.
Dog told Oz: “I, all the time, stick my foot in my mouth and I said after Beth left, I’m not afraid to die.”
“I was afraid to die,” he added. “I said: ‘Please let go of my heart, honey. Quit squeezing my heart.’ So I take that back. I’m not afraid to but I don’t want to.”
If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help, resources are available. In case of an emergency, please call 911 for immediate help.
The Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention, Depression Hurts and Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 all offer ways of getting help if you, or someone you know, may be suffering from mental health issues.
— With files from Katie Scott
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